Self Reflection

It has been an interesting year so far.  For the prior 5 years I was attempting to be an entrepreneur, business owner, stock trader, or contractor all for the sake of personal freedom and control over my time.  I had left a comfortable but mundane job as an art director at a small game company, with big dreams of riches and grandiose projects

I was far from successful. Eeking along, performing and earning just enough to keep up my payments on my bloated credit cards.  It was a form of financial self-waterboarding that had me gasping for any available air and relief on a daily basis.

Then I left that all that behind about a year ago.  Got married, sold a house I co-owned with my brother, moved back to my mother’s home province in Thailand and started from scratch trying to do just one thing:  Become a story teller.

I have to say I am still disoriented with the whole affair.  Most of my artist peers and friends have long shot to the stars on their respective pathes, leaving me here on the ground floor still trying to piece together my goals and aspirations. Like a pile of Legos without a plan, I am not too sure what to do first, or last, or anything in between.

I am not complaining.  Far from it, I am merely trying to put words to what I am currently experiencing and parsing the information.  I know I want to do comics.  I know I want to tell stories and entertain folks.  I’m just starting to figure out how to deal with myself in that new context.  

Finding ways to deal with my procrastinating streak.  Trying to polish up my previously rusting artistic skills.  Attempting to find a voice that feels authentic to what I want to present.   I have been juggling these thoughts continuously these past few months.  I am still not certain as to what to do, but I am confident that I will continue find out more about myself along the way.  It is scary, but also incredibly exciting.